N.E.R.D. & Daft Punk - Hypnotize U (Nero Remix)

In life you it is so rare where you are lucky enough to have your frustrations manifest into a physical form. I have something to focus years of dissatisfaction and repressed discontent on. I am blessed to have such a project that the end result will heal, and cut this cold, faded anchor.

First, pardon, fer starters: I hate the word blog. I loathe most portmaneus, and that most have become mantras.

But allow--look just stop and let me talk here okay???--all--I said Shut Up!!--allow me to make a simple observation. Blogging, not TV, not the elevation of untouchable celebrity status, is prominently responsible for the degradation of our senses and consciousness. Not because it promotes discussion of the most banal topics, or spotlights unenlightening whimsys or moments that should remain and should have remained private--no. It's because blogging allows, in step with the rest of our immediate but unintimate culture, the author to dispense undeveloped thoughts, dispell underdeveloped contradictions, and disseminate undeserving discourse. It allows one to scoop the scum from the top of the pond without ever having to reach down and slap down the sludge as well. Yet, in all these clean and still surfaces, no one ever sees a reflection of themselves. The reason is that the constant reaching and distempering of the surface permits only a distortion.

Any opinion can become philosophy with enough patience and poring. Any modernity can dissatisfy and perturb. It's on the behalf of the author to wait responsibly, not responsively, and allow these small petty thoughts to grow, for the disparate, unstable atoms of reaction to connect and form a unique unified theory. But no, it's easier and more immediately satisfying to parcel portions of pithy complaints and phrases, retorts and cheap shots against those absent to defend themselves. There is no depth, no research, just immediate acceptance of an opinion in line with one's own, but always secondary to one's own, and never never a transgression into the forbidden exploration of why one's own opinions or beliefs or stance exist inside one. These people, bloggers all, are the outsiders, but not in the way many would ahve you believe. They are not the deposed, dispossessed defenders of free speech. They are the cowards who choose to stand aside and make stray marks and remarks without taking a position. The are eternal internal contradicitons giving to us only a pose, an image they wish to mold and emphasize, avoiding or easily dismissing from behind curtains and beyond lines any idea even approaching an argument.

Dear Reader, it is our sincere wish at CN not to be ironic (as one may think the intention of this posting) or evasive or tailored. We wish to provide our entire selves, in all the glorious shame we exist. We invite challenges, questions and suspicions as they only serve to distinguish and strengthen our positions and contortions as innumerable as they are. You ae not merely our audience, but hopefully an active participant.

Very Sincerely...

Thanksgiving '99.
(editor's note: this was written on an old word processor in my old bedroom when I was a confused young adult. Apologies for the bad formatting, and bad style. All that is posted is true.)

Thanksgiving '99

The expose of the century! Finally the secrets of the Clemente Thanksgiving holiday revealed to the public. Learn the inner most workings of the Clemente family as they come together on this glorious occasion to ruin all the sanctity of the holiday season.

Paul:

It was around 10 am when I awoke from a particularly good night's sleep; I listened hard to be aware of any sounds or evidence that anyone was awake also. In my mind, everything was safe so I took a brief nap. Suddenly, I was snapped out of my morning haze to hear my mom semi-cordially say " I think you should wake up and do Thanksgiving with the family" I groaned and turned over and drifted back off to sleep.... I knew what kind of trouble awaited me. The like a thunderclap my dad bursts in the room when I decided to wake up " Wake up! Clean this room! Get down stairs so you can have breakfast so me can continue the dinner making process" I told him I knew I should wake up, but it was no use he made his point and he left triumphantly. I got up took a brief shower and shaved and I listened closely to hear of any fighting, there was some but I dot know what or with whom. I went downstairs and my dad told me Hurry up and eat the "kitchen" is closed" he said sarcastically. I wasn't too sure what he meant by that because we only had coffee cake for breakfast and there was no preparation involved. Confused I got a napkin to eat it and watch the Macy's day parade "Get a plate dammit!" my dad screamed so I wasted a plate on a measly piece of coffee cake. I finally went to sit down and watch the festivities on TV and my lovely father screamed again " That's my seat!!!" I got up to watch him only hover around the seat with a cup of coffee and go back into the kitchen. I went upstairs to go back asleep...11:54am...


Ian:
I was in a deep sleep when mom saying something to the effect rather politely awaked me, "I think you should get up and have some breakfast." Then she commented on my face looking weird and I told her "Of course it does I just got up." So, after she left I laid in bed for 10 minutes. I heard one interesting thing. In the midst of conversation dad interrupted himself "Don't take grapes from the fruit bowl!!!" Since he yelled at Jill, mom naturally had to shut him down and come to her baby's aid. "Is the fruit for eating or is it just decoration?" she said. I went downstairs and was instructed on what I was allowed to eat and how it should be prepared. Ignoring him I made some waffles and then went back upstairs. But before I left the kitchen, dad asked," Did you see your brother up yet?" "I didn't see him so I don't know." In a rampage he stormed upstairs. I ventured to my room to make my bed. Paul then came into my room and sort of just putzed around. He left and went back into his room and turned on some techno music or whatnot. As he heard dad's thunderous footsteps ascending the staircase, he decided it would be best to close his door and I would have done the same. Dad walked into his own room and after Paul shut his door dad remarked, "Yeah, you'd
At quarter after 1 the doorbell rung and it was grandma, aunt Susan, and sardine, this woke me from the nap I was taking, I listened to everyone cheesily greet each other, Paul and I went downstairs and cheesily greeted everyone ourselves, but not before Jill yelled at us to go downstairs. Today she has
Been on some sort of rampage or crusade is a better word to get us in trouble.... telling mom that "The boys were pounding!!!" Anyway, Aunt Susan and I decided to talk about Bowie and Iggy so that took up some time and then Paul and her started speaking of Pokemon, then Paul brought down said Pokeball. I decided to make myself comfy and sit in the recliner but as soon as I did, dad stopped me cos today it has been "his chair". I gave him an odd look and when I did, he realized that he had publicly relinquished the chair to the people. Then I decided to put the footstool up and lean back. I was brutally yelled at for this, "What are you doing? Fold it down!!" I had no idea what this meant so I just put the footstool down and that shut him up but good. Then he started being a pro at everything and interrupting me about 6 times as he must do every time there is company, disgusted Paul and I retreated to the Secret Revolution Laboratory were we are composing this article...2:16pm...

Next dinner coverage...

Look up in the sky tonight. No, those aren't stars. The sky is literally littered with the confetti Rip scattered joyously while making his descent to our planet an unspecified number of centuries ago.

We at Construx have made our love for cats very well known since the birth of this blog. This video combines cats AND toilets, I really don't know what else to say ...

With all things political us Construx Nunchux stay fiercely neutral, but this video is hilarious in my mind. I'm not sure what my favorite aspect of this human being is. It could be the fact that is a self-proclaimed karate expert, or the fact where he created his own political party, or the idea that his platform is wildly unrealistic for so many reasons, but he pitches it with such stone cold conviction. Do I think his beard is awesome? .... yes I do.

" RENTS TOO DAMN HIGH party says If you want to marry a shoe. I'll marry them." (1:48)

No clue how there are only currently 150,000 hits here. I need those hits! Get hip y'all...

Rip is known universally and the world's greatest entertainer, but this wasn't always so ... For a period in the 80's the Japan was consistently confused Rip Taylor with the pugilist Von Kaiser. The origin of the mixup comes from the loose translation of Rip's name to the Japanese phrase meaning "he who births negative happy head feelings".

This confusion actually got Rip booked in the Tokyo Dome in 1986 to face a no name American fighter to improve his image. Rip declined the invitation cordially through his red HOT LIPPS phone, citing the typical mistake.

Things seemed to have resolved themselves from there until roughly a year later in 1987 Mike Tyson's Punch Out was released in Japan for the Nintendo Entertainment System. To the shock and delight of Rip he was featured in the original Japanese release of the game. When Mr. Taylor's lawyers asked for compensation for the likeness of Rip, the Nintendo RD3 developers subsequently changed the name sake to VON KAISER taking Rip's name out of the game entirely.

Nearly 175,000 units were recalled and replacements were issued free of charge to anyone filling out the registration card. The original cartridges were destroyed, and the Japanese legal system determined that Mr. Taylor was owed no compensation.

Upon hearing the news of these strange events, Rip was documented as throwing confetti in the air, and lifting his toupee from his head while quoted as saying "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these [points to chest]"

Although most of this story was lost amongst other world events there are a few pictures found on the internet immortalizing the profound impact Rip Taylor had on the Japanese culture in the mid 80's.

After years of exhaustive research and legal quarrels, ConstruxNunchux is solemnly thrilled to present to you the first in what we hope to be a lasting, revealing and enlightening expose' into the true identity of the man known to this universe as Rip Taylor:


1. Rip Taylor is actually the illegitimate father of Steelers superstar Ike Taylor.

anti-abuse ad? anti-drug ad?

Just missing the Benny Hill theme...

I apologize for ruining your day... and your pants.

Were there ever simpler times? In our memories, we're able to pare an image or a sensation down to its simplest, usually its most extreme, (and therefore most memorable)form and recall it as bad or good. Simpler times can apply to any event or period far enough removed from the complexity of our own analysis. Of course, I look back at childhood and try to shift all the sensations around until they create a solid colored side or a cohesive image.

But the times themselves, whether 10 years 20 years from right now, or the present moment itself, must all either exist simply or with impenetrable complexity. Because any timeline is a succession of happenings, mostly reactions. The complexities all come from a skewed and relative perception. The minutae of a current or passing sensation or event draws out each individual possibility and outcome to be analyzed and scrutinized with obsessive precision.

It's only when a moment passed and we only observed one of the millions of possible outcomes that we are able to claim the simplicity of any past experience. We end up forgetting the fretting and vascilation and the disproportionate magnification of every new development. We did this as children and did it during our most complacent periods in life. For me, I wonder if the complacency was a result of the simplicity.

What is known for certain is that there are no complex situations. There are only conflicts in preference and precedents set by previous loss or fear that we're either attempting to correct for or trying not to be ruled by. All times are as simple as we want them to be and our current lives can be as well. Unfortunately, since I constantly puruse the most potentially satisfying path, which just as with stocks is invariably the riskiest, I continually fall into pits of nostalgia where I fondly remember more comforting and ultimately less fulfilling times. Of course, the debate between ultimate fulfillment at the expense of contemporaneous happiness is a different topic altogether...