Here is another installment culled from our massive stockpile of submissions regarding the immortal and possibly still living Mr. Kaufman in order of the most credible to the least.

Imogen F.- Maple Heights, OH

"I work full time sending spam emails regarding penis enlargement and that information you requested.  I was taking my Portuguese Water Dog-Lhasa Apso mix for a drive (butt out the window of course, lol!), when my car broke down.  I was walking down the highway and I came across a bear.  I screamed and ran and threw Gayenore at the beast.  I never saw my dog again, but I saw another bear, again!!! 

Well I thought it was a bear, buuuuut i saw a big toothy goofy grin and a shy wave.  hello or goodbye?  he turned and walked away on two feet!! so I followed him.  we ended up at the annual carnival, he must have been attracted by the bright lights.  he let me ride him around and sang old vaudeville tunes. 

I thought this was weird behavior for a bear, or even a person dressed up as a bear.  Then I started thinking... Who do I know who knows old showtunes?  Well, there's Cindy and Michele, and really the whole gang.  We go out on Fridays and get crazy, just crazy.  The men get so intimidated and they don't even know what to say to us.  normally two or three of us start making out with each other, then it gets a little well a little i don't wanna talk about it...

Anyway, I think it was Andy Kaufman. Here's a picture I took."