Its been awhile since I've actually written something on cXnX. We have turned our focus to more complex projects that have a broader appeal (from 2 people to 6). I love the direction that the site has taken and I love everything that we have done so far, but sometimes I forget the original intention that this site was established. It was created to function as a living eulogy of my brother and I. A legacy to leave behind. A treasure chest buried in our little slice of cyber infinity.
I have gone through a tremendous amount of pain this month. Mistakes from my past finally catching up to me reminding me that I am a vulnerable, fragile human being. Poor choices made under duress of a diseased mind have changed the direction my entire life has been heading.

For the first time I feel hopeless.

What I'm posting below is not really a poem or narrative but a stream of consciousness from a dark place I have seen recently. The pain and overwhelming sorrow I felt trumped anything I have felt in my lifetime. I wanted to share, as I always do, this with whomever was unfortunate enough to take a chance on our brand of entertainment for tonight. I apologize and please check out Lobster Lobby episode 3 tomorrow.