Dave Volek

so irrelevant that this was the best picture of him i found

 On a warm summer's evenin'
On a train bound for nowhere
I met up with the gambler
We were both too tired to sleep

Ian:  Okay, okay.  I'm gonna have to put the brakes on like, right now. There is no such thing as a train bound for nowhere.  No fuckin thing!  Are you in some derailed boxcar making a shady deal with this mysterious "gambler?"  Seriously, sounds a little less than pastoral at this point.  Did you just run into the gambler?  Or was this a pre-arranged thing?

So we took turns a-starin'
Out the window at the darkness
When boredom overtook us
He began to speak

Ian:  It's nice that you've learned to share, but if it's the darkness you're staring into, first off, it can't be that interesting.  Also, is the train so full packed taht you couldn't both have a window seat?  I guess starin out at nothin is better than havin to talk to someone sittin next to ya, god forbid!

He said, "Son, I've made my life
Out of readin' people's faces
Knowin' what the cards were
By the way they held their eyes

Ian:  So wait?  Is this actually your father??  Like, what the hell?  Is that what this is all about?!  What a curveball!  So, you're meeting with your estranged father in an abandoned boxcar only to learn that he's a drifter, card grifter who apparently has taken some course in Non Verbal Communication.

So if you don't mind my sayin'
I can see you're out of aces
For a taste of your whiskey
I'll give you some advice"

Ian:  Don't do it!  He should give you the advice for free.  Did you explain to him that you didn't bring any cards at all??  Technically, you're out of Queens Twosies and Niners, as well.

So I handed him my bottle
And he drank down my last swallow
Then he bummed a cigarette
And asked me for a light

Ian:  You just got hustled, sonny.  All it took for him to get you to hand over a "taste" of whiskey and your last smoke and light.  And how the fuck did a taste turn into a goddamn swallow.  Dude, no wonder you're outta aces.  At this point, for me, the song would be more like.  He drank down my last swallow/Then I punched him in the stomach/And we began to fight.  Whatta joik!!

And the night got deathly quiet
And his face lost all expression
He said, "If You're gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right"

Ian:  Deathly quiet... foreshadowing???  I can't imagine that'd bother either of ya since it apparently takes overwhelming boredom to even exchange pleasantries.  But no, it didn't stay quiet for long, as pops vomits forth this ridiculous "advice."  Still seems pretty uneven handed, yknow?  What if y'all don't really care to play the game?  Unless this is still just an extended metaphor for a shady drug deal.  In fact, I can totally see Walter White playin the Gambler in this scene.  Creepy.

You've got to know
When to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run

Ian:  Still imagining Walt starin down this meth runnin lackey, in deathly quiet, deciding whether he needs to kill him or not...

You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done

Ian:  Okay, there is no situation where you count your money at the table.  They give you chips, don't they?  And you sorta have to count them when you place your bets.  Right???  I mean, if you ignore how much you have, how do you know whether to leave the table or not?  This is NOT GOOD ADVICE!

Now every gambler knows
The secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep

Ian:  The Gambler needs to watch An Inconvenient Truth.  The secret to survival is knowing how to properly recycle.  That's that.

'Cause every hand's a winner
And every hand's a loser
And the best you can hope for
Is to die in your sleep"
Ian:  Y'know what?! Fuck you.  That is the gogdrained opposite!  That defeats the point of gambling, doesn't it?  I thought some hands win and some lose.  But then again, I guess I don't know as much about gambling as this sage destitute deadbeat dad.  I don't know about this shit, because I think we can hope for a little more than just knockin off one day without ceremony.

And when he finished speakin'
He turned back toward the window
Crushed out his cigarette
And faded off to sleep

Ian:  What fuckin rude conversationalist.  "NO MORE QUESTIONS!!!"  Like, seriously, just quaff this poor kid's whiskey ramble off some silly ass gambling metaphors the make NO SENSE, waste half a cigarette instead of offering it back and just pass out.

And somewhere in the darkness
The gambler - he broke even
And in his final words I found
An ace that I could keep

Ian:  Full circle!!!  You got an ace back!  Don't give away to the knew silver tongued self-styled Henry Higgins type that arranges some shady ass drug deal in an outtatheway locale.  But just as a matter of interest, how did you exactly figure out he was dead...?   I mean, if y'all were droppinto silence here and there, then who the hell's to say he didn't just pass out until you fell asleep too?  Maybe this is the gogglelivin Twilight Zone IIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiidunnnnooooooooo...

You've got to know
When to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run

Ian:  You should've walked away at the very beginning, son.

You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done

Ian: Not tryin to be disrespectful or nothin, here, but it doesn't exactly seem like there was time in this here gambler's case to count nothin when the dealin was done.

That is Ghost. Ghost plays horrifying and unnerving black metal about Satan.  They formed in 2008 as a bunch of friends in Sweden looking to put on a "horror show" and it took them two years to perfect their look, sound, theme, and message.

Their live shows are something straight out of Castelvania with high theatrics and lead singer Papa Emeritus II looks other worldly while staring across the sea of awed fans.The rest of the band just mentioned as "nameless ghouls" keeping the entire band in anonymity.

Ghost takes anonymity to a whole new level staying "in character" off stage and during interviews. The request that their voices are modulated for interviews and it has been noticed that in recent shows Papa Emeritus has begun to wear facial prosthetics to further hide his face along with the Papa Shango makeup.


The biggest critique against them is the pageantry may overcompensate for poor music (ex: The Misfits/Gwar) but as the music definitely is not for everyone, its complex, melodic, and filled with lyrics straight out of a Dark Wizard's spell book. It would be classified as dark metal and Papa Emeritus does display some surprising vocal range and control for singers in this genre.  While it is black metal, it still pounds you with evil intent and drives you with its overall sound.

I have to mention that I may be a sucker for gimmicks, from wrestling to music, I have to appreciate what Ghost brings to the scene. I am a firm believer that most music is created to entertain an audience and too many artists make music for all the wrong reasons. Some musicians write music with the intent to get famous or to make money and it their whole persona comes off as self-serving and disinterested. There is nothing special or interesting about that. You can go to a festival and 30/50 bands stare at the floor and challenge YOU to get THEIR music. Music from its roots was meant to be shared with people for entertainment, and what Ghost is doing may not be your thing but its for entertainment and they clearly enjoy it.

My friend +Joe Depto recommended Ghost to me this week and the first thing I noticed was their live shows are just a spectacle to behold. I'm not the type of person to seek out Metal shows but this ... this is something I want to see in my lifetime. Ghost has won me over thoroughly with their latest album Infestissumam which is 9 tracks of chilling music that sucks you right in from the first track.

Check out Ghost and favorite song "Year Zero" . Get to know this band!

I was inspired from Stevie's post (cant find the link) on High Heels & Hockey about being the parent of a very young hockey player. I wanted to answer some questions to anyone out there who wants to put their kid in hockey put have maybe some anxiousness or uneasiness about how it all works.

yeah im proud! want to fight about it?

My son Vinny is 4 and has a love for hockey. If there was a word I could use that would give more profound meaning I would use it. This kid craves hockey practice on Wednesdays and Saturdays and occupies his time playing in my kitchen, watching the Penguins on TV, and going to our local Junior club the Jamestown Ironmen when he's not actually on the ice. I mention this because it is probably the biggest and most important obstacle when getting your kid into hockey - they have to want to. I've seen about a dozen or more kids that are in the Timbits Hockey Program that are forced into it and THEY HATE IT. I get that you maybe a hockey fan but if you're kid isn't into it, those 8am practices aren't going to be easy for anyone.

I have to admit when I put Vinny into the Timbits program I had a million questions and anxieties about the whole entity of being a hockey dad. There are alot of myths and objections that I've heard before I signed Vinny up most of them were untrue so I thought I'd list some and dispel all these antiquated ideas about getting your child into hockey.

1. Hockey?! That's expensive!

Relatively speaking, yes, hockey can get expensive. If you compare it to soccer cleats or a baseball bat, hockey equipment can get up in price but it doesn't have to be that way. USA Hockey donates countless equipment to programs all over the nation. In  most cases the program will be signed up with them to receive donations. Vinny was equipped from head to toe FOR FREE with previously owned equipment. Another option I've heard of other programs doing is putting a deposit on your child's equipment and you getting majority of it back it you don't steal or break any of it.

Personally, when Vinny really took to playing hockey I started to chip away at his own equipment. Buying skates or a helmet are pointless if you are given rentals because your kids grow so quickly it becomes pointless.

2. My kid can't even skate! How is he going to play hockey?!

This is not me, its a stranger.

I can't speak for all programs, but in most cases they are ready for that. Vinny stepped on the ice once previously to playing hockey that ended in a maddening tantrum. The very first day of practice they give the little ones a folding chair to hold on to, or a cool looking helper thing.

You won't believe me but the average time a kid spends on a chair is 5 practices max. The younger they are the quicker they learn it seems. As soon as Vinny was given his stick he left the chair behind.

There were coaches to specifically worked on the "chair squad" their patience and sense of humor were just an incredible thing to watch. From about 20 kids on chair at the beginning - 10 weeks later - not one kid uses a chair and they all play games.

3. Hockey is too fast and violent, I don't want my kid to get hurt.

Your kid will be fine. They have equipment all over the place which they make impossible to fail. The kids never build up enough speed to hurt themselves and on the contrary once they figure out that falling doesn't hurt them they will develop the bad habit of slamming into the boards as hard as they can to generate the most disruptive noise they can. I've also seen kids collide, fall on each other  fall into the boards, and I haven't even see one tear out of probably 40 or so kids.
\
Also, fighting or checking don't happen at this level of hockey. It seems strange typing that but these are real questions I've been asked by interested parents.

This does not happen.


4. I don't want my kid to sit out games because he's not good.

If you think games at this level resemble anything that you've seen on TV you are wrong. The kids go out on the ice fall all over the place and the only scoring is accidental. The kids and parents love it for totally different reasons. Very little structure or rules are enforced. It's basically them having fun and making sure they are safe. They don't even keep formal score in most cases. It will make you proud SO of your kid when they are out there shooting, passing, or accidentally piling into the goalie with 5 other kids.

5. There are no programs for girls.

No there aren't. They play with everyone else. In the Timbits program about 25% of them are girls who love the sport. As long as the passion is there - let them play!



To wrap up I have some quick tips that I have learned over these handful or weeks that may help you through your first year of being a hockey parent.

• If you get used skates, sharpen them at least once. If they are learning it will make it EXPONENTIALLY easier for them to learn efficiently.

• Tape your kid's stick uniquely. You will lose track of your kid on the ice. It's crazy. Sometimes the stick tape is the one thing I can look for the figure out where he is on the ice. I've also put a cool racing strip on his helmet so I can spot him out in a pile of kids in the net. 

• Always offer a hand when you can. Whether you can skate or not there might be a little bit you can do to help out the coaches. Just ask they will appreciate it. They are volunteers and have to handle the demands of 50-60 kids and parents all at once. 

• Make falling hilarious. When they fall try not to express your instinctual concern. Make it funny, or encourage them by saying "good fall". They will fall hundred of times and overcoming the trepidation of the first few spills is a huge part of having your kid enjoy playing.

This is some of my favourite songs released so far this year.

I've gone through very literally 1000 or more songs so far this year and here are the 60 that have survived my impatient ear. As always about only half of these will make it to the Top 100 of 2013 but for now enjoy.

Craig Adams
none









Tanner Glass
@TGlass15






Jarome Iginla
none











Matt Cooke
none















Sidney Crosby
none










Brenden Morrow
@Minimo1zero

Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

Uh uh, ah uh

Yo Jeffrey Buss it

What are ya doin in there?





Ian: Now, I'm not sure who he's askin. He knows Jeff is bustin because he just asked him to. I can only assume he's askin us. Well???


Ryan: If he is unsure with what or who he is talking to, how the hell are we supposed to understand?




Word em up word em up word em up

In the place at about this time

DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince just bu bu buggin out

Losing it all no sense






Ian: I don't even think he's bein facetious here. It's pretty clear already that Prince lost his goddam mind, y'know, one layup short of a double-double, naw mean??


Ryan: Brilliant. So well written. I like how they show how "buggin out" and "Losing it all no sense" by actually making no fucking sense at all... Well played, you brilliant song writers!




Ay Jeff scratch it scratch it man, scratch it

Uh aw that was decent

Now scratch it a quick joint, a quick one Jeff

Oh yeah yeah





Ian: Dude, the man is an artist!! Let him express himself. And really, is that all you can say to him is "decent?" It's a little more impressive than that.


Ryan: It is clear that there were multiple joints involved here... Did Freshy (that is what I call him) hear that shit? The only thing decent here is Freshies understanding of a solid scratch.



We just bugging we just having some fun

Me and Jeffrey

He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper





Ian: Really. At this point, I was just assumin you were some guy just standing there annoying Jeff while he was tryin to work.


Ryan: I have yet to hear any rap at this point... Clearly we know the member of this "group" that has proven their title mentioned earlier in this track..




Hello can anybody hear me

You can aight that's good you can hear me

Okay it's clear it's good okay everybody's got it

One two

One two and






Ian: Wait a minute... Did you just count in the listener?






Ryan: I would have made sure that I could be heard during the production of this track, but that is just me.

















My rhymes have been written not to be bitten

But as it seems, some suckers keep forgetting the rules about rappin, but that's alright

Cause in the next five minutes I'm a have them all uptight





Ian: If they're forgetting the rules of rappin, just gonna say, that it's less than likely that them bitin is the first rule they gonna break. Not if they can't get rhythm or the basics down.






Ryan: There is not 5 minutes remaining on this track. WTF is Freshy on? Not bitten? I assume he means that he is biting spit... It could not mean anything else.




Stronger than a dinosaur, better known than Santa

Man the battles I battle, I usually win em

In less than a minute, but it all depends

On how long it takes you rappers to realise

That trying to defend yourself is ridiculous





Ian: I don't think dinosaurs are known for being strong, necessarily, as much as they're known for being fuckin huge. And here's the thing about Santa; he's not real, so I don't know how much of a feather in your cap that one is. Now, your battles: to say you usually win em is sorta... well... not that impressive. Sorta like sayin "My record is 5 wins and fives losses... oh yeah! and one draw!!! No matter how quickly you win em, if it ain't a flawless record, it's a little humdrum. I sincerely doubt you win battles that quickyly anyway, when it takes you a minute or more to ramp up and actually start spittin.






Ryan: I find it hard to believe that Freshy was ever a part of a rap battle. If he was, I find it harder to believe that he ever won. Though, I do recall the strong man competition between Freshy and a T-Rex. The match was called off due to illegal use of marijuana, however when the competition was called off I thought it was pretty clear that the T-Rex had the edge but I am not judge.














Didn't you get my message it's out of the question

Cause you're toys boys, I'm the Real McCoy

I'm really gonna enjoy seeing you destroyed

If I was Fred Flintstone I'd probably own all of Bedrock

If I was a criminal I'd probably own a cellblock

If I was in the Navy I would own the sea

But I'm a poet so I own the whole rap industry

I'm like a lion my man, and the streets are my den





Ian: Wait... there's a message here? Is it that you own the industry? I though Mr. Slate did. And anyway, what the hell did i do at any point for you to be so keen on my destruction.






Ryan: Rhyming "Cause you're toys boys, I'm the real McCoy" may hurt how accurate that line is. For someone that isn't that good at what he is doing, he is pretty sure that he would be the best at things that he doesn't do.










It's either kill or be killed, so I kill

I kill again and again and again

Surmount the times, rappers I'll slaughter them

I tie em up and throw them in the water

Then I'll just walk away like nothing ever happened until somebody else starts rappin

That's when I snap and I'll attack and go mad like Rambo or maybe like Commando, or like Lando

Calrissian, cause you know he was down with the Force

Fresh Prince is the source I feel no pain or remorse

Think that you can beat me rappin man you must be silly

Man I really really really really really really

Hate when people, doubt my ability

And I have to prove superiority





Ian: I think some of this actually violates the rules of rappin. And may I just simply say, the murder bit. No one's buyin it. Here's my thing about yet again the fictional characters you reference here: Lando really wasn't anywhere near as much a maniac psycho as the other two. But I do appreciate the tidbit about the force, because I was not aware of that.






Ryan: How is he not in jail for these murders? If he was, I am certain that he would not have his own cellblock. I never knew that Freshy was so violent. I knew that he was over rated, but not that he was violent.










If rap was basketball, I would be in luck

Cause every time I freestyle it would be a slam dunk

Man I'm the engineer, and you're the passengers

Taking on a voyage, a hip-hop massacre

The Jason of rap, Freddy Kruger of rhymin

And I'm sure that you'll see in due time man

People will run, to Philadelphia Pennsylvania to all join in, to this Fresh Prince mania

My face in magazines, on your radio or stereo

Everywhere you go, audio and video









Ian: I'm not quite sure what you're the engineer of, since you didn't preface it with "If rap were a train..." But like, here's the deal. Why do you start threatening to kill your listeners? Why are we on a hip-hop massacre? I didn't agree to this. I'm assuming the mania you're talking about is the legit mental illness you're exhibiting right now, Prince.






Ryan: I think "Hip-Hop massacre" has been the only line in this track that has been accurate so far. And as far as the face being on the radio and stereo, I am confused... Unless he was also a technology wizard and saw all the changes coming to electronics, but I think that is very doubtful//






A hip-hop terrorist, war like vocalist

Other rappers say, yo Prince why don't you show me this

Style now you must be trippin it ain't no way in hell I'ma let you put your lip in

My rhyme cause it's a timebomb, I'm not kiddin

My rhyme explodes the second it gets bitten

I'm quick and nimble, a status symbol

I shop at Macy's now but I used to shop at Gimble's

I'll, drop kick a hurricane, bodyslam a tidal wave

Walk through a tornado, or a volcano





Ian: I don't think a drop kick or a body slam would be very effective against a natural disaster. It actually sounds like the kind of thing one of the Construx guys would try to do.






Ryan: What is with this dude and biting words? Clearly I am not familiar with rap expressions back in the day. At this point of the song, I really wish that he would walk through a volcano..











But I'll be okay though

And here's some more info that you rappers should know

You are the bombs and I will defuse you

I am the lawyer and I'm going to accuse you of the ultimate rhyme crime and you will be guilty

There's no way that you'll ever ever defeat beat me rappin any time or day

Pop so much trash, man I can't wait to be face to face, and hear Jeff say sick em

Man you're gonna be my victim









Ian: What I wanna know is how you went from being a terrorist to being on the bomb squad to passing the bar? I would call this less info and more the ramblings of a madman. I doubt we ever hear Jeff say sick em, not having heard him say anything yet, and only hearin Prince tellin dude to scratch it this way and that.






Ryan: This was obviously before being called the bomb was a compliment. I feel that Freshy was less influential on Hip-Hop than he claims to be in this track. Maybe he was popular because he killed all the other rappers back then?










You better duck, and pray for good luck Chuck, cause you're stuck

You're like a Thanksgiving turkey and it's time to be plucked

I see you're nervous purpose that's how I now you're soft

You're runnin round like a chicken with your head cut off

But just relax my power to the max

And I'm cuttin no slack on this rap track, Jack

So back up, as if you got good sense

Or feel the fury of the Prince

And ya don't stop

Yo Jazzy why don't you rock up the spots

Yo Jazzy hey Jeff I'm psyched I'm psyched

Give em a cut Jeff

Ooh-wee check out my dish-jockey!

Ay Jeffrey Jeffrey Jeffrey, a fast one





Ian: How can you being relaxed to the max and still cut no slack?!?! This is all contradictory!!! You do know that a chicken and a turkey are different things, yeah?






Ryan: FINALLY MORE JEFF! My goodness I thought I was gonna have to put up with more Freshy.










Uh ha yeah

Wow, ay Jeff Jeff, give em one of them fresh ones

A fresh one Jeffrey

No music, no music

Woo, that was decent, that was decent

That's my DJ, that's my DJ

Jazzy Jeff, I'm the Fresh Prince

Hi how ya doin?

How's everyone doin out there?

Ooh!

I'm just here to talk about my DJ

I was just I was just standin in here, really

Really? Aight, okay, um

On behalf of DJ Jazzy Jeff, and the Fresh Prince ..

(Don't touch that dial)

Thank you, and good night






Ian: I'm beginning to doubt Jeff even exists...






Ryan: Freshy continues to not give proper credit. We all know he was the talented one. By not complimenting him you are not convincing anyone that you are the talented one in this group...