Do you know this man?  If so, tell him to stop eating farts.

When you look at him, all well dressed with his fancy tie and matching pocket square, you wouldn't think, "Boy... this man sure eats farts."  And yet, here we are.

I have it on good authority, from several sources, that his favorite past time is eating farts.  He considers it a great snack that gives him life.  He'd probably say it's his favorite snack, if he weren't so ashamed of his fart-eating ways.

While he will MOCK WATER for NOT BEING A SNACK when clearly everyone knows that WATER IS THE BEST SNACK he will ignore his fart eating as if it's a common thing.  And yet he hides it in shame.

Please, for the love of cats, stop eating farts.  Farts have no nutritional value and only take away from the butts of which you steal them.

The butts miss their farts, Paul.  Please stop eating them.